i've already lost the mood to study.
i've totally no integrity to continue to strive.
Or should i say i've never really strive hard before?
got back all my results.
h2 chinese language literature 57 [D]
h2 physics 40 [S]
h2 mathematics 30 [U]
h1 general paper 54 [E]
h1 general studies in chinese 71 [A]
what horrendous grades.
my heart really plunged.
everyday when i pick up the book, hoping to start my revision, i'll feel like sleeping.
worse still, of all the sums, i can't do a single.
even if i try again, there's no way out i can make it to the university unless miracles really exist.
really.
what more can i do within this 25 days left.
i'll have to face the Atrocity (A level) 25 days later.
maybe just meddling arund, waiting to die is not a bad solution.
as i've got a reason for not performing.
but if i really continue to think that i can, and get haywire in the end, i'll really be demoralised.
i hate demoralisation.
i don't like the feeling.
i rather truthfully answer to someone who asks me about my grades that,
"i've not touched the book at all."
than lying that i'm not hardworking enough.
why should i lie and make myself admit that i'm not working hard enough?
i've put in the effort, just that it doesn't show.
so it's my fault?
no. i'm not blaming anyone. it's nobody's fault.
it's all heaven's fault.
fated. and that's it.
